This post came out of a discussion I was having on facebook.
“I never saw a bad woman or a bad man. Deep inside we are struggling to understand ourselves. When we tend to forget this, we see jealousy, hatred, anger and other unnecessary stuff.”
“A person can’t be good for someone and bad for another. You are either a good or bad”
I had always believed in the earlier statement. But there is always this feeling – you do feel some people are good, you grow closer to them. You feel some are bad, you stay away from them. Well, I do it too. I have a very small selection of people I am really close to, and a very small selection of people I can’t stand.
I asked myself why, like I always do. Time. That is the answer I could find. Often it comes down to how much time you are willing to spend to understand someone. This is exactly where we decide if the person is good or bad. The more you try to spend your time truly understanding a person, the more you can relate to them, the more you can empathize with them – grow from their experiences or help them grow from yours. This is the process that develops the trust, and at the end of the process you find a good person. The moment we feel we do not want to spend any more time to understand the person, we stop thinking about the causes and only concentrate on the actions.
The strongest of bonds form in your childhood. This is because you have so much time to spend with your friends. This is the time in which you grow the most too, because you learn from everyone’s experiences. At the same time you are quite impressionable because you have not yet formed the rigid image of “the” good and “the” bad. Your impression about people and emotions for them are always a factor of time and experiences you share.
Sometimes, I wonder – What if one cannot give time to understand oneself. Will they look bad to themselves?